Easy Does It!

 Itesiwaju Eko! Welcome to Lagos, a.k.a Lasgidi. With a population close to 20 million people and about 20 local governments, it is the most populous state in Nigeria. Incredibly, it is the smallest in size with a landmass of 3,345 square kilometers. The major means of transportation is by road, through the inter state transport system a.k.a danfo. Thanks to innovation, the Bus Rapid Transit system came along, popularly known as BRT.

Moving around various axis in Lagos is quite easy as the transport system is quite direct and less cumbersome. It's also fun with all the adrenaline pumps in your system as you hurriedly try to get into a bus. Watching the conductors act invincible, talking in their hoarse voices with an exaggerated level of over confidence, owing to their ties with the streets or maybe, just maybe a little whiskey to douse their blues.

What if the buses are upgraded, there are plans for that. What if other means of transportation are sought after as there is a large span of water surrounding the state, there are plans for that!

Is Lagos the next best thing? Béé nòni, Itesiwaju Eko! 



      

 

Desolate Togetherness - Loneliness

" I was lonely. I had a few friends but I was lonely", said a popular TV presenter, whose life seemed so perfectly under control.
You could have a long list of people all around you, gathered all through the years, but still experience a deep pervasive loneliness that can be felt even when surrounded by other people. It goes beyond being physically removed from people, instead it is an emotional state of feeling apart from others. Being surrounded by friends and even a lover can still leave one feeling disconnected

As such, loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant response to isolation that includes an anxious feeling about lack of connection or communication with other beings, both in the present and extending to the future.
There are so many causes of loneliness ranging from divorce to facing retirement, death of someone significant, lack of the required friendship that one needs, lack of social support, feeling invisible and believing no one around understands you, being unable to fit in, heartbreak and so on.
Loneliness can even happen when you have so many social contacts, as feeling alone or empty relates to the quality of relationships and not the quantity."Do I spend enough time with my friends? Do they really see me or know me?" "What friend can I plan to visit or invite for an afternoon of true sharing?" "I have a lot of friends, yet I have problems communicating and sharing anything with them" "I am lonely because I don't have that close special someone in my life" "I feel no connection in my marriage" " My siblings don't understand me, so we don't really talk much" " Being constantly judged in my relationship, has affected my self-esteem, I feel invisible"

Loneliness has negative physical and emotional effects and can lead to complex health issues like depression, risk of a heart disease, weak immune system, disrupted sleep patterns, low self-esteem to mention a few. What are you doing to relieve it? Are you amplifying it through sad passivity by involving in behaviours that makes the situation worse such as sleeping, sitting at home and watching TV,  taking tranquilizers to make you forget it all (alcohol and the likes), sitting and thinking and doing about about it, feeling powerless to change the situation.
Take charge of your life by taking one step at a time. Find a new hobby,go out more, pick up exercising, find something useful to do with your time, something that would make you a better person, talk to someone!

Are You Lonely? Ask Yourself

Did You Say Love Your Neighbour?

 Right behind Niger, is Nigeria the second most religious country in Africa with 46.3% of the entire population being Christians, closely followed by the Muslims at 46% and the Traditionalists at 7.4%, with the Christians amounting to 86.5 million of the entire populace. The presence of a high amount of religious people means that we should all be experiencing heaven on earth through the practice of  kindness and goodness to others right?

Sheila stepped out of her house hurriedly as she was running late for work. As she got to the bus stop, she realised how late she was to catch her usual early morning bus and therefore had to stand for a while. Before she knew it, the clouds had gathered and it started drizzling. Little by little, the winds became stronger producing a whistling sound. Still, there was no bus headed in her direction in sight. Rather, private car owners drove speedily past her and other pedestrians that had increased at the bus stop. Most of the car owners had no one in their cars except the person who was driving; in other words 'space dey for moto'. She tried to flag down cars, but it seemed like the drivers accelerated more without blinking an eyelid. The rains came down stronger and she was drenched from her 22"Argentine deep curls weave to her black Aldo doll shoes!

As myself and my friend Biola drove on the streets of Lagos, we approached a traffic light and slowed down. A little boy with patched clothes ran towards our car and started to clean the windscreen with a windshield cleaner and cheap soap. My friend stopped him immediately and rebuked him. "Why you dey clean my glass? You no see say e clean before? Comot for here" "Abeg Aunty i never chop, come buy gala for me" "I be Father Christmas? Go ask your mama for gala" " Abeg Aunty, i dey hungry". The light turned green and we sped off.

"Thank God for this N200,000 alert, time to turn up this weekend" " Hi James, how are you doing. Please James i need your help. I'm really down, I need N10,000 to take care of some of my needs. My account is red, I don't have any money, please my friend" " Ah, you asked me quite late. If you had asked me 3 days ago, i would have even given you N15,000 sef. But right now bro, I'm managing. I don't have any money to spare, sorry"  Really?

Did you say Love Your Neighbour or Love Yourself?

Foodology

 It was 11:00am and all I felt was hunger pangs! I didn't eat the night before and the hankering for jollof rice was intense. Hurriedly I rushed to White House to get some party rice. I ordered some jollof rice, fried rice, plantain and beef. The plating of the food was nice, each one seated on it's corner like an art work. I hadn't even settled into the food when a man walked in with his plate of food and sat directly opposite me.

He had fried rice, jollof rice, beans and stew and a huge piece of fish. Looked like a work of art like mine until in a nanosecond it looked like something that was faced with a tornado. Right before me, he stirred the food and all I could see were few grains of rice drained in stew and plenty of beans. Then I asked myself, why didn't he just buy white rice, beans and stew than turn this meal to something else!

It got me thinking, does the way we eat our food say a lot about who we are? Does our choice of food reveal volumes about our personality? Take a look at the various eaters and their personalities.

• The Slow Eater: You truly take your time to enjoy your meal and is in no rush to finish. You like to make the most out of every moment of life. At work, you are in no hurry to get things done. You believe that a job well done is better than a job quickly done. In relationships, you are always living in the present. Your seeming lack of inner clock may get on people's nerves, be yourself, but just be careful not to let life speed by you in the meantime.

• The Fast Eater: You get through a meal as quickly as possible, often times not taking time to chew the food completely. You are really great in getting things done before the deadline and your boss at work likes this about you. You are good at multi-tasking, with a healthy sense of competition and your brain is often 10 steps ahead of your current position. In relationships, you place the need of others before your own and your considerate nature makes you an extreme catch. However, rushing things like meals implies that you don't take enough time for yourself. Therefore, make sure to create enough time ahead for your own needs and slow down a bit to enjoy good times.

• The Organizer: If you are the organizer, you don't want any of your food to touch each other. You like to keep things neat and tidy and you avoid messy situations at all cost. At work, your organizational skills help you properly keep a track of tasks ahead. At home you may struggle with having always to do the dishes or the cleaning. Be careful that your list-making brain doesn't allow you to feel stressed when things go off track. Learning to be flexible will only complement your already enviable tidy and organised lifestyle

•  The Adventurer: You always want to try new types of food. You like to take risks and you are not afraid to propose a bold new idea. You are adventurous, brave and outgoing. Be yourself but don't pressure others to be like you as not everyone is an explorer!

• The Mixer: You mix up all your food together, irrespective of texture and flavour and you get a little of everything with a bite( just like the man who sat in front of me) You are a strong person that is capable of taking on a lot. At work, your boss would love your sense of taking responsibility. That said, you may also over-commit and it may be hard for you to know which task to tackle first. Therefore practice prioritization.

• The Preparer: You cut your food into manageable bits before you start eating. You are an epitome of a forward-thinker, always considering how one move would lead to another. At work, you are constantly dreaming big and working hard to climb the ladder. In relationships, you plan dates ahead and keep everything spicy. Take time to enjoy the moment now.

Which eater are you!

Fin - The End

 It's evening, 8:00pm to be exact. I walk into the beautiful hall in TerraKulture, everywhere looking beautiful. The array of the stage lights like a splash of amazing colours on a palette, lits up the stage adding to the visibility, motivation, composition and mood of the performance. The sonorous sound lifts the ambience above par.

He made his way towards the stage, the star of the moment, the renowned performer. Opposite him was a large crowd agog and excited. I was sure he could feel the anticipation. His microphone was in his right hand and all that mattered was what he was about to do that night. He didn't fall short, but rather came out strong and at the end of the show, the audience erupted into a long applause with shouts of excitement, clapping so loudly I could barely hear anything else. Then he bowed and walked out of the stage, handing his microphone to someone on stage who I presumed was part of his band.
That moment struck me, in the midst of the accolades, he knew he had nothing else to offer, he was done, it was over and the only thing left was to take a bow and walk away...

It made me realize the beauty and power of time. The inevitable indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession, from the past through the present to the future. It gives you the opportunity to thrive, to blossom, to sow, to shine and whether you realize it or not, it will also bring the moment of reckoning to let it all go, to retire, to walk way, to surrender all.

Each tick, even as brief as a nanosecond, counts. With opportunity, which comes side by side with time, take every advantage. It is all for a period, make hay while the sun shines, before the end.

Sorry, I Ain't Sorry!

"I just can't stand it, i cant!"... "Never, God forbid bad thing!" 
There are some standards that we have set for ourselves as individuals that we just abide by. Anything contrary to them are absolutely disregarded and resented. For some certain people, quite a number of things puts them off and for others little or nothing counts. It may be an attitude, a habit, a substance, a scent, a gesture, a word, even a color! It could be anything..

I randomly talked to few people about their 'pet peeve" and I got some interesting answers. "I absolutely do not like my skin touching other people's own in a bus" "I do not like harsh perfumes" "I despise the scent of cheap perfumes" "Dishonest people irritates me" "Bread and butter is terrible" "I don't like biased people" "Rude and forward people are a no no!" "I hate it when people trample on others when they have money" " I can't stand lemon green or drink any green substance" " A doubtful person is a deal breaker" " I can't stand eating vegetable soup at night!" "Perfumes make me cough" "Backbiting and cheating is just a terrible thing for me to deal with" " I can't stand people sharing my cup" " Strangers should never act too  familiar else they would never be familiar" "I hate mosquitoes with a passion, what's their usefulness to humanity anyway" "Making an irritating slutty noise when chewing gum arrggghh" " I can't stand it when people make me wait for them or come late for an appointment with me" "Smoking cigarette where non-smokers are! I think it's disgustingly selfish" " I despise stingy people fullstop" '"Coughing and leaving your mouth wide open for the germs to kill us all, hian" "People that dive right into your food without asking for your consent" "Joining me to eat when invited!" Nigerians can relate to this one! "Making noise while eating,either with the plate or while chewing" "I haven't seen the thing that would irritate me in this life" "Really?" I asked, "Never".

What is your huge turn off? Let your comments roll in!

Reality 101

 You get up to start your day. It's not early in the morning like most people your age, it's much later. You hop into your car that you bought through your savings made from your job, your personal business, yes you're a lucky star. You order something nice to eat, you have nice things to wear, life is pretty much organised, you have it all planned out and everything is in accordance, no sweat.
But it doesn't go that way for some others and i just realized. I found out some reality that someone didn't show up at work because of cash for transport, no jokes guys.Speaking of being grateful for small mercies.

The power of resilience paid off to a lady that sat beside me in a bus one fine day. "Abeg, how much be from here to Charity bustop" "Na N100, if you no get change abeg come down oh" "Haba, na N50 i dey enter am, i never pay N100" "Omo u go pay that N100 oh, we don dey inside bus since you no talk, na when we don dey almost reach u dey talk say na N50 u wan pay" "Oga i never pay N100 since i dey enter bus from here reach Charity, i no fit pay am oh". I sat waiting to see what would unfold. By now the driver who had angrily parked by the roadside joined in to attack and bully her with threats of pushing her out of the bus. She remained undaunted, not caring that she was dealing with brash people who weren't cultured. Surprisingly they dragged till she got to her bus top and the conductor and driver let her go. I was marvelled because most ladies would have given up and paid the balance, knowing how violent these people can be. Speaking of breaking free form the norm and being bold.

"I really thought i was going to get that contract, the team liked me, you know things have been gloomy for this my food business since i started. I thought this was it!" "Don't worry Tobi, it wasn't meant to be joo. Don't mind that woman. She used another company, her birthday pictures were trending". Little did she know that her friend got the client's contact on Instagram, sent the client a dm, telling her a million reasons why she shouldn't use her friends'catering business for her upcoming event. The client who didn't want to risk it, decided to use another vendor instead. Speaking of a frenemy, who shows all the care but harbors hatred and strikes when opportuned.

The divergence in reality and illusion...

You Too?

"Guys you don't understand, i belittled myself for so long, i used to be so fearful and doubtful it held me back!", "I remember not feeling pretty for a long time in my life","I am facing the same problem with you, i need to attain self-actualization especially now that i am young" "I am afraid of commitment and marriage" "Is it not too late for me to achieve my dreams?" "I don't think i'm ready for the next stage of my life" "Why can't my life be like my friend's own" "I don't know where to turn to, i am confused" "Seems no one really cares"

I believe we all go through identical problems, only differently. Sometimes i feel somehow and I believe others do to. I am going to give you 5 ways to feel good in a bad circumstance.

• Seek sunshine when you face calamities, downturns and setbacks.
• Know that you are loved, refuse to live in any form of negativity be it fear, doubt, worry, stress,serious concerns, anxiety, name it...
• Take action and avoid comparison, we are all running different races.
• Never say "If".
• Be more deliberate, intentional and make conscious effort.

And then when you feel better

• Show kindness to people.
• Do not restrict yourself, try new things; your "chi" is high at this point and there is a more collaborative sync between your mind, thoughts and body. You are fearless and what better time and opportunity to start something new and fresh. Start a business!
• Appreciate yourself more and spoil yourself a little. Do not be hard on yourself, cut yourself some slack.
• Set out some established principles to help you live in your new state of mind and be rock firm on them.
• Find strength in quietness and confidence.

Remember that after the rain comes sunshine. Setbacks and negativity push us to self-realization and bliss.

Soul Searching

 Have you ever tried and failed at being someone you're not? Maybe you went to a huge networking event in the hopes of meeting new people, only to stand in the corner and leave an hour after it started. Then you tell yourself "you know, i'm just born to be an introvert, or this is who I am, I can't change now" and that made it easy to accept the inevitable. 
Your personality is you, it's what the world sees and who they perceive you are. It is who you were born as, by default. 
Most of the decisions we make in life are unconscious and these decisions are guided by what feels 'right'. All of these decisions we make shape the experiences we have and these experiences shape our character. Our brain likes to stay the same, so it consistently acts in ways that feel right in order to keep our personality and sense of self constant. 

One's character and personality can be a hindering block to achieving success in various facets of one's life. Are you too stuck up? Do you decide to be introverted when you should be screaming at the top of your voice? Are you judgemental, criticizing other people's affairs rather than refraining from conscientious meddling? Are you ungrateful, always complaining? Are you too aggressive and expect everyone to bear? Or wait, you think you're so perfect, what's the essence of living and gaining experiences then?

With adjustments to the patterns of your life, you can change your personality for the better, because our personalities aren't stagnant regardless and you are not only what Myer- Briggs test says you are, your personality can be shaped by your environment and experiences!

Having the freedom to be the driver of your own destiny is a pretty cool thing too and definitely something worth thinking about, if you really want to change something about yourself and conquer the world! 

Enough of "this is who i am" rather it should be "this is who i can be"