Reality 101

 You get up to start your day. It's not early in the morning like most people your age, it's much later. You hop into your car that you bought through your savings made from your job, your personal business, yes you're a lucky star. You order something nice to eat, you have nice things to wear, life is pretty much organised, you have it all planned out and everything is in accordance, no sweat.
But it doesn't go that way for some others and i just realized. I found out some reality that someone didn't show up at work because of cash for transport, no jokes guys.Speaking of being grateful for small mercies.

The power of resilience paid off to a lady that sat beside me in a bus one fine day. "Abeg, how much be from here to Charity bustop" "Na N100, if you no get change abeg come down oh" "Haba, na N50 i dey enter am, i never pay N100" "Omo u go pay that N100 oh, we don dey inside bus since you no talk, na when we don dey almost reach u dey talk say na N50 u wan pay" "Oga i never pay N100 since i dey enter bus from here reach Charity, i no fit pay am oh". I sat waiting to see what would unfold. By now the driver who had angrily parked by the roadside joined in to attack and bully her with threats of pushing her out of the bus. She remained undaunted, not caring that she was dealing with brash people who weren't cultured. Surprisingly they dragged till she got to her bus top and the conductor and driver let her go. I was marvelled because most ladies would have given up and paid the balance, knowing how violent these people can be. Speaking of breaking free form the norm and being bold.

"I really thought i was going to get that contract, the team liked me, you know things have been gloomy for this my food business since i started. I thought this was it!" "Don't worry Tobi, it wasn't meant to be joo. Don't mind that woman. She used another company, her birthday pictures were trending". Little did she know that her friend got the client's contact on Instagram, sent the client a dm, telling her a million reasons why she shouldn't use her friends'catering business for her upcoming event. The client who didn't want to risk it, decided to use another vendor instead. Speaking of a frenemy, who shows all the care but harbors hatred and strikes when opportuned.

The divergence in reality and illusion...

You Too?

"Guys you don't understand, i belittled myself for so long, i used to be so fearful and doubtful it held me back!", "I remember not feeling pretty for a long time in my life","I am facing the same problem with you, i need to attain self-actualization especially now that i am young" "I am afraid of commitment and marriage" "Is it not too late for me to achieve my dreams?" "I don't think i'm ready for the next stage of my life" "Why can't my life be like my friend's own" "I don't know where to turn to, i am confused" "Seems no one really cares"

I believe we all go through identical problems, only differently. Sometimes i feel somehow and I believe others do to. I am going to give you 5 ways to feel good in a bad circumstance.

• Seek sunshine when you face calamities, downturns and setbacks.
• Know that you are loved, refuse to live in any form of negativity be it fear, doubt, worry, stress,serious concerns, anxiety, name it...
• Take action and avoid comparison, we are all running different races.
• Never say "If".
• Be more deliberate, intentional and make conscious effort.

And then when you feel better

• Show kindness to people.
• Do not restrict yourself, try new things; your "chi" is high at this point and there is a more collaborative sync between your mind, thoughts and body. You are fearless and what better time and opportunity to start something new and fresh. Start a business!
• Appreciate yourself more and spoil yourself a little. Do not be hard on yourself, cut yourself some slack.
• Set out some established principles to help you live in your new state of mind and be rock firm on them.
• Find strength in quietness and confidence.

Remember that after the rain comes sunshine. Setbacks and negativity push us to self-realization and bliss.

Soul Searching

 Have you ever tried and failed at being someone you're not? Maybe you went to a huge networking event in the hopes of meeting new people, only to stand in the corner and leave an hour after it started. Then you tell yourself "you know, i'm just born to be an introvert, or this is who I am, I can't change now" and that made it easy to accept the inevitable. 
Your personality is you, it's what the world sees and who they perceive you are. It is who you were born as, by default. 
Most of the decisions we make in life are unconscious and these decisions are guided by what feels 'right'. All of these decisions we make shape the experiences we have and these experiences shape our character. Our brain likes to stay the same, so it consistently acts in ways that feel right in order to keep our personality and sense of self constant. 

One's character and personality can be a hindering block to achieving success in various facets of one's life. Are you too stuck up? Do you decide to be introverted when you should be screaming at the top of your voice? Are you judgemental, criticizing other people's affairs rather than refraining from conscientious meddling? Are you ungrateful, always complaining? Are you too aggressive and expect everyone to bear? Or wait, you think you're so perfect, what's the essence of living and gaining experiences then?

With adjustments to the patterns of your life, you can change your personality for the better, because our personalities aren't stagnant regardless and you are not only what Myer- Briggs test says you are, your personality can be shaped by your environment and experiences!

Having the freedom to be the driver of your own destiny is a pretty cool thing too and definitely something worth thinking about, if you really want to change something about yourself and conquer the world! 

Enough of "this is who i am" rather it should be "this is who i can be"

The Best Day of Your Life

  And the best day of your life would be? "Oh it would be the day i'm engaged!", "When i make my first million!","The day i become a mum!"...  I asked people randomly and got these responses but this one stuck "Today is the best day of my life" said Funmi, a girl in my neighbourhood  " Because thinking of today as the best day of my life creates a situation where it may not be the best, but it ends up being pretty good"

When we get lost in waiting for the perfect time, right place, right person, right circumstance, we forget to live for today and take chances now for a better tomorrow. We hope for something that isn't here yet and live so cautiously that we might as well not have lived at all; building perfect times in the future for our best days.
So laugh until it hurts, fall in love, do something you have never done before, take risks that may take you to greater heights and if it doesn't, oh well you will learn something, catch up with an old friend, be ingenious, start a new hobby, learn to accept yourself and re-evaluate your personality to embrace change, break free from that toxic person or habit, make someone proud, help someone change their life, be happy and full of gratitude.

Each new day is a new life and an experience you have never had